is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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