i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
