Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she looked like the before picture.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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