I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
