My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
