my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
my poor anus
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
