he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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