she is the kim kardashian of front butts
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
