just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize