Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
