so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
