He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
