Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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