girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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