You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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