I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
third nipple confirmed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
