she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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