I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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