I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
