can we get nightvision for the apartment?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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