girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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