I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
