my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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