You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
