yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
