I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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