The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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