Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
FUCK WHALES
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
