dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
