I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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