Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
