I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
