Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
