I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
