we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
