Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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