There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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