Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
