i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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