Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
