Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
