oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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