so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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