I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
