i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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