and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
