Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
