we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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