Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
