my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was born a porn star she said
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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