and you said cock pushups were impossible
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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