Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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