4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
